The Rhythm of Our Therapy Work
A simple guide so you know what we’re doing each session
Our sessions follow a steady rhythm.
Over time, you’ll recognize it.
That predictability helps your nervous system feel safe — and safety is what allows healing.
Here’s how our work typically unfolds:
1. We Slow Down and Reconnect
We begin by briefly reviewing where we left off last time.
- What were we working on?
- We might review your goals for therapy
- We may remind ourselves of specific “protectors” that need support
- We may ask what happened during the week, and how protectors or exiles got triggered
This helps us pick up the thread instead of starting over each session.
Then we slow things down.
Healing doesn’t happen when we rush or analyze.
It happens when we pause long enough to notice what’s happening inside.
2. We Notice What’s “Coming Up”
Rather than hiding in “analysis” or problem-solving, we ask:
- What thoughts are showing up?
- What feelings are here?
- What sensations are in my body?
We gently stay out of the “thinking brain” that wants to explain or fix everything.
That analyzing part is often a protector trying to help.
Instead, we practice noticing. Noticing creates access.
3. We Ground in Your Calm, Curious Self
We work to help you feel steady.
We want you grounded enough to stay:
- Calm
- Curious
- Compassionate
From that grounded place, we begin to notice the different parts of you that showed up during the week:
- Reactions
- Strong emotions
- Urges or behaviors
- Memories that surfaced
We look at recent triggering events and ask:
“What part of me reacted there?”
4. We Gently Work With Protectors
Protective parts tend to show up in our lives and in therapy… and we want to know them.
They may:
- Overthink
- Shut down
- Get angry
- People-please
- Avoid
- Criticize
We don’t fight protectors. We get curious about them and seek to connect with them.
As they feel understood and safer, they often step back and allow access to deeper, more vulnerable parts — the younger parts that carry hurt, fear, shame, or loneliness.
Those younger parts are often connected to childhood experiences.
5. We Connect to the Root
As we connect to protectors and their exiles, we identify childhood memories for reprocessing (EMDR).
We are asking:
- When have I felt this before?
- How old does this feeling seem?
- What memory carries this emotional charge?
- What am I believing about myself?
- What do I need, given my belief (resourcing work)
This helps us identify what needs healing — not just symptom relief.
6. We Reprocess and Heal (EMDR Work)
When we have a clear target memory, we move into EMDR work.
You’ll begin to learn the rhythm of EMDR:
- Bringing up the memory
- Noticing thoughts, feelings, and body sensations
- Following the natural processing that happens
Your brain already knows how to heal — EMDR simply helps it do what it was designed to do.
We stay present. We stay grounded.
We move at a pace your system can handle.
Over time, memories lose their emotional charge. Triggers soften.
Protectors don’t have to work as hard.
The Predictable Flow
Each session generally follows this path:
- Connect and Review (where we left off and what’s been happening since…)
- We slow down and notice what’s coming up
- Ground in calm curiosity
- Identify parts that are activated
- Connect present triggers to past roots
- Recognize core beliefs and resourcing needed
- Reprocess and integrate
Not every session goes all the way to reprocessing.
Often the work is focused on strengthening “resources”.
Sometimes it’s understanding protectors.
Sometimes it’s building safety.
But the rhythm remains steady.
The Goal
We are not trying to “fix” you.
We are helping:
- Protectors relax
- Younger parts heal
- Your grounded Self lead more consistently
Over time, you respond instead of react.
You feel more steady inside.
And you live more from love than fear.
Disclosure: Drafted with assistance from ChatGPT from my original reflections; final edits are mine.
Comments by rforde